Difference Between What We Mean And What We Say
Study of human beings makes for interesting past time. Observing the way people think, feel, emote, express and communicate with one another makes for interesting study and learning. One of the most interesting facts that you will discover while talking to people is that ‘What they speak is not What they feel’. In other words, they think and feel something and say something else. The spiritual masters always advise their followers to listen to the heart and think through the heart and not the head. This means listening to what the other person is feeling and not what he is saying. Let’s take a simple example. A mother who loves her son wants him to give her his attention and spend time with her. Instead of asking or saying so she is likely to tell him to go away and not bother about her and then accuse him that he does not care for her. A wife wants her husband to spend time with her and take her out. She nags him all the time about not giving her attention. When the husband makes an effort to take her out, she is likely to refuse not because she does not want to go but because she wants her husband to plead with her.
We humans are funny. What we say and what we mean are often two different things. But then in some cases our words are not so funny but destructive. One of the most hurtful things that people say to one another is to call the other person impotent. Whenever a man challenges another, it is quite common for them to challenge or instigate the man by challenging his prowess. No man is likely to keep quiet and listen to an accusation of him being impotent. This is the worst insult and nobody will put up with it. Actually impotence in men can be a temporary phenomenon or it could be a permanent problem. Impotence actually refers to inability to achieve erection or the problem of erectile dysfunction. There are solutions to cure erectile dysfunction in most of the cases. But one wonders as to why people use this as a verbal accusation or arrow to deflate the ego of another.
Women too are at the receiving end when the others want to be hurtful and say mean things to one another. Calling a woman barren is the most hurtful thing and does the worst damage to the feelings of women. Every woman is instinctively built to be a mother. Their sense of fulfillment comes from their ability to bear children and raise a family successfully.
When people want to hurt another person and put another person down totally, they tend to use the most potent weapon of calling the man impotent or the woman barren. Of course those who say and accuse the others do not give a thought to what they are saying and probably do not understand the concept of impotence in totality. They are simply aiming at hurting the other person’s feelings and ego. Words are but meaningless. It is the feelings and the thoughts that power our words.
The day we realize the value of words and the connection of mind, thought, feelings and words, we become responsible for our words. The day we become responsible for our speech is when we stop being negative and hurtful but use the language of love and emotions to express our feelings. Then there is no difference between what we mean and what we say.